I think President Monson mentioned that in one of his talks recently. This is my motto for the day/week/month/year/whatever. I'm finally here in Zambia and have a lot of mixed feelings. I've waited an entire year to be back here and now I'm here. The thoughts I've been having are, "Okay, so what now?" I'm a teacher, thus I crave and seek control. I like to have everything planned at all times. I like to know what I'm doing, when I'm going to do it always.
Today is a different day. Today I am living in the present. Today I am going to be what God wants me to be. I'm not going to try to plan it, I'm just going to be it. But how do you be it, if you don't know what it is you're supposed to be? That's where faith comes in. You don't have to plan to be you just be. Makes perfect sense right?
We have no control of the past and no control of the future. We have control of the present. We are powerless in the past and future but have complete power in the present. We can accomplish much in the present. We can change a life in the present. We can love a child in the present. We can play marbles with a bunch of street kids in the dirt in the present. God wants us to be in the present.
Today we visited a facility that supplies food for some of the street kids here. I asked them where they lived. They all looked at me like I was crazy. "We live in the streets," they said. Then they proceeded to describe what area of the street they stayed. I asked about their families. Some have none and some have relatives. I asked how old they were when they started living on the streets. I asked about their schooling. I asked every question I could think and the responses overwhelmed me. This is their world. This is how life is. This is what they do. When I got on the bus after talking with them I broke into tears as I do most often when we leave a village or compound or pretty much anywhere we go. I, once again, tried to make sense of it all. I can't. I don't have the power to fix it. I can't make it better. But HE can and HE will. I thought about how much I loved dancing with them, playing drums with them, playing marbles in the dirt, throwing the frisbee around. The smiles on my faces and their faces. We were happy. Do you know why???? We were living in the present. At that moment all was well. Our spirits were being fed by each other and we found joy because we chose to live in the present. Think about the times when you are happiest in life. It's not when you are thinking about what's going to happen next. It's not when you are thinking about what happened before. It's when you're chillin' on the floor next to your child playing leggos...It's when you are taking a walk in the park enjoying the beauty around you...It's when you're talking on the phone to a dear friend...It's when you're driving to the bank to make a deposit...It's when you're putting on your shoes to go for a run...It doesn't matter what you're doing as long as your doing it at that moment.
Well, that's enough for now. No pictures, haven't taken any since I've been here. Life is good. God is in charge. Let's let Him be in charge and keep a prayer in our heart at every moment so we can be what He needs us to be at that exact moment.
Tomorrow I will be going to stay at the orphanage for who knows how long. It might be a night, might be a week, might be a month. I, unfortunately, do not have access to the internet while I'm there. The only thing I will have access to are the rats that run around me while I sleep...AND my sweet wonderful kids. I can't wait to see them and be with them. It might be a bit before I blog again.
Love you all!!!